Bodily Fluids Interception Team
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As London Underground launches all-night running on two lines at weekends, a special squad of cleaners has a special task ...

​The Tube's come up with a spiffing scheme
The train stays in service and the bosses beam
But it's not as fun as it might seem
For the Bodily Fluids Interception Team

With disinfectant, sponge and steam
They staunch the flow of a putrid stream
Garnished with garlic and salad cream
A night in the life of the B-FIT team

What's that seeping through the cushion seam?
The usual ooze or more extreme?
Work's a bitter, bloody scream
On the Bodily Fluids Interception Team

The rate's not great, in fact it's obscene
It's a thankless, rankless, sick regime
The job's a nightmare not a dream
For the Bodily Fluids Interception Team