Hating Tories

Fence Sitter

They're cutting help to those in need - 
What case to vote against?
This is a tricky one indeed 
I'm staying on the fence

Scrap targets for child poverty?
My mind is wracked with doubt
Perhaps, no - maybe, probably -
I'm sitting this one out

The Gaoler and the Giant

Written in response to today's tabling of new anti-union laws ...

Said the gaoler to the sleeping giant
Your ties aren't tight enough
These bonds are very slightly pliant
You need a tougher cuff

Said the sleeping giant to the gaoler
There really is no need
For years I've lain here getting frailer
I've lost the will to leave

How to Bring Back the Hunt

First, establish in the common consciousness that they are vermin,
A scourge on our civilised way of life.
Point out that jobs depend on it,
That the route of the hunt is the road to recovery.
Explain that the years without the hunt brought
A resurgence of uncontrolled, destructive, anti-social villainy.
Circulate reports of their most savage crimes:

I. D. S.

(The former Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Iain Duncan Smith, is known as IDS. But what else might it stand for?)

If David Says
"I Demand Savings"
I'll Deliver Some!

I'd Delve through Sewage
Intimate Detailed Search
Identifies Deeper Savagery

I Dutifully Serve
Ignorance Division and Spite

Once Upon a Tory Time

Despite our crusade to screw the low-paid
And the jobless and sick in our midst
They're parading their crimes in our nursery rhymes
And in fairy tales told to our kids

We just can not pander to this vile propaganda
So my job as benefits minister
Is to go through each rhyme, taking one at a time
And eliminate anything sinister

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