If It Weren't For ...

If it weren't for hangovers, I'd get drunk every night
If it weren't for employers, employment would be alright
If it weren't for delays, the train wouldn't be late
If it weren't for the state, the welfare state would be great
If it weren't for the puncture, I'd be riding my bike
If it weren't for the job cuts, we wouldn't need to strike
If it weren't for the sick people, the hospital could cope

Away In A Palace

Written for Prince George, then still a foetus, in 2012 - to the tune of Away In A Manger:

It won’t need a manger,
a crib or a bed
For the new royal baby
to lay down its crowned head

The stars and the tyrants
will come and give praise
The little future monarch
whose patronage pays

'British Work for British Hands'

Seeing this Conservative candiddate's advert in a 1910 issue of the East London Advertiser, it struck me that the 'British jobs for British workers' slogan of a couple of years ago was neither new nor left-wing.

‘British work for British hands’
Not for scum from foreign lands
Tory slogan, nineteen ten,
How much has really changed since then?

An Ode to Tube Cleaning

A right filthy job is Tube cleaning
We slave while the bosses are preening
We work night and day
No pension or sick pay
And the wages are truly demeaning

But cleaners won’t let them attack us
Harass us, track us and sack us
On protest and picket
We’ll tell them where to stick it
And expect all our workmates to back us 

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