Limericks

Five-line poems, usually funny or light-hearted; the first, second and fifth lines rhyme with each other; the third and fourth lines also rhyme with each other, and are shorter.

Where Has Everyone Gone?

Move to the ground in the centre, you said
Nobody likes a dissenter, you said
Victory hinges
On leaving the fringes
Let us move to the centre, you said

Come down from the high ground, you claimed that we must
Move from town to the plains, this is shit or it's bust
You would find the location
With triangulation
Just there, where the ground's laid with dust

Cameron Cares?

That tear-stained bit of David Cameron's Conservative Party conference speech ...

"How very dare you suggest
I don't care for the great NHS?
I love it so dearly
I'd sell it for nearly
As much as my granny - or less"

Gideon's Budget 2012

Two limericks for Gideon George Osborne's 2012 Budget:

1.

We can be sure that in Gideon's budget
However the media judge it
There'll be gifts for the rich
For the rest, not a stitch
And Labour's poor leaders will fudge it

2.

An Ode to Tube Cleaning

A right filthy job is Tube cleaning
We slave while the bosses are preening
We work night and day
No pension or sick pay
And the wages are truly demeaning

But cleaners won’t let them attack us
Harass us, track us and sack us
On protest and picket
We’ll tell them where to stick it
And expect all our workmates to back us 

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