And It Could Be Years

A poem written by my partner John Leach …

Janine has got cancer
My partner could be dying, it’s
only a matter of time, and
it could be years.

People say it’s not what it was
they’ve got it early, it’s not a
death sentence, and it could be
dealt with by pills
– But it’s said out of love not knowledge.

At best a lifelong anxiety
a worry: has it spread?
A lifelong shadow over Harry, Joe and Alex
A fear of pain – and sorrow
Brian, Rob and many more fears.

It’s like the Grim Reaper has
moved in, the alien of death and sadness
and it could be years.

Isn’t she a hero – fighting
all the time – yeah that’s
wy (one of the many reasons)
I love her as her life partner
and it could be years.

Cancer – the great taker
has moved in all uninvited
I want to throw it out
like an univited so-called friend
who comes and stays for years –
forever till the end.

I hope it makes us stronger –
stoic solidarity
the stress and pressure
could destroy us –
one of my biggest fears.

So as your soulmate, lover, partner, fellow parent
and best friend I’m here
always and forefver
Sorry if I fuck up with
unmanaged stress and cause
too many fears.

But be sure the whole fucking world
and cancer knows
John’s for Janine forever
and will go on beyond for longer than
years and years.

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