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| This eye’s real | This one’s fake |
| Both get washed | by tears |
| This side flicks the wipers on | |
| And this side changes gears | |
| This side writes | |
| But this side can’t | |
| Though both of | them can type |
| Tendonitis on this side | |
| from overdoing swipe | |
| This side has an armpit bush | while this side’s pit is bald |
| Radiotherapy slashed and burned | |
| when cancer came and called | |
| This side’s fingers | |
| brandish rings | |
| but this one’s are bereft | |
| This side thinks it’s always right | |
| But my heart is on the left |
