Clerihew: Grant Shapps
Grant Shapps
He talks and he craps
But often gets confused
About which end he's used
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Four lines, two rhyming couplets. The first line is the name of a person. The rhymes and the line lengths are allowed to be - supposed to be, even - a bit rubbish.
Grant Shapps
He talks and he craps
But often gets confused
About which end he's used
Owen Patterson
takes envelopes with splatters on
One hundred grand and he'll do your bidding
Fit for public office? You've got to be kidding.
Julie Burchill
Will fight them on the beaches like Churchill
She's been cancelled and silenced by opinion shapers
She'll tell you all about it in the national newspapers
pic: Pete Linforth at Pixabay
Morrissey
Is even worse than Boris, he
Had a stroke of luck
When he missed that ten-tonne truck
Nicola Adams
Is dancing with Madams
Instead of with Misters
Ten points for the sisters
Johnny Rotten
Has obviously forgotten
The establishment he maligned
Now he talks bollocks: never mind
Nadia Whittome
Knows how to hit 'em
When the leader's a drip
She's defying the whip
Princess Anne
Married a man
Who served in the Forces
Ah well - horses for courses
J.K. Rowling
Is bawling and howling
That a wolf can change into a human
But a man can't change into a woman
Langston Hughes
Wrote poems in the rhythm of the blues
He gave folk the shivers
With 'The Negro Speaks of Rivers'