Teachers say:
Let Daily Mail writers be heroes
Let them walk naked through war zones
Let them battle with an invisible enemy
Let them fall on the battlefield
in even greater numbers than they already have
Safe in the knowledge that they will be
lionised at the Daily Briefing
And that Matt Hancock may
issue a badge in their honour
Don’t let today’s namby-pamby
elf-n-safety culture stand in their way
Teaching assistants and other school workers say:
Let Daily Mail photo-croppers be heroes
Let them notice we exist
Let them work a day in our school
Maintaining social distance from
five-year-olds who crave their physical comfort
And spread their breath and tears around
like poster paint
Let them kill and die
in the service of the greater good
(Said greater good being the return of
the wage slaves to their workstations)
Let Daily Mail writers be heroes
just for one day.
