Corn Hub

There once was a Tory, his name is Neil Parish
Attracted to tractors in “a moment of madness”
And now Mrs P is extremely embarrassed

A big-wheeled beauty with a powerful horn
Harvesting hot stuff down in the corn
Who wouldn’t love agricultural porn?

Make me deep pockets, he ordered his tailor
I don’t want my seeds getting caught in the baler
Shall I watch the whole film or just look at the trailer?

For farming and growing, there’s nothing compares
He’s giving new meaning to the committee he chairs:
Environment, Food and Rural Affairs

He’s ploughing his furrow and working his chain
But when it comes to the truth, there isn’t a grain
He’ll be losing the whip – that much is plain

He’s clutching at straws so he won’t get a ban
As his public career disappears down the can
I suspect that Neil Parish is an ex tractor fan.

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