For Workers’ Memorial Day …
Those hard hats and safety equipment
Are for wusses not real working blokes
So go unload that hazardous shipment
If you die we’ll explain to your folks
No, we won’t spend our cash on protection
Our company has to compete
We don’t mind if you catch an infection
As long as you die on your feet
So why do your children look sad today?
Your injury isn’t that bad
It’s health and safety gone mad, I say
It’s health and safety gone mad
Now they won’t let our children play conkers!
Or sport without full body armour!
I tell you, the world’s going bonkers
A few blows round the head never harm you
I know all these stories are kosher
They’re here in the Daily Express
They’re even producing a brochure
On a thing that they call ‘workplace stress’
It weren’t like this when I was a lad, no way
When that scaffold collapsed on my dad
It’s health and safety gone mad, I say
It’s health and safety gone mad
This happened when red politicians
Gave in to the union mob
Let’s return to Victorian conditions
Where death was just part of the job
Let’s stop all this safety hysteria
Cut through the red tape and be free!
My motives of course are ulterior
Less cost is more profit for me
These mountains of rules are a fad, I’d say
When they’re buried and dead I’ll be glad
It’s health and safety gone mad, I say
It’s health and safety gone mad
