Nah, You’re Alright
I’d rather do a highland fling Or tie my nipples up with string Impale my buttock on a spring I’d rather do most anything Than pledge allegiance to a king I’d risk the wrath of Merciless Ming Or face what … Read more
Issues and campaigns: Up the Republic!
Scrap the Monarchy – it’s an outdated, undemocratic bastion of privilege. Obviously.
Pledge of Allegiance
I pledge allegiance to my sons to witty jokes and dreadful puns I pledge allegiance to Aussie soaps to chasing all my dreams and hopes I pledge my allegiance to the Borough boys to Lewes FC, to making noise I … Read more
Some Things That Go Before ‘King’
counterchec, rubbernec strikebrea, pissta, heartbrea, troublema multitas, unmas bluestoc, foreloc motherfuc, bloodsuc wisecrac, backtrac benchmar, disembar pawnbro, keystro stockbro, anti-smo, undercoo, overloo hyperlin, freethin hallmar, reembar hitchhi, motorbi bootlic, politic rollic, nitpic lovema, muckra ransac, carjac, miskic, picnic upchuc, untuc … Read more
But Where is it Really From?
Where is your title from? My father. No, but where is it really from? It’s been in the family for years. But where did your people get it from? I believe it was conferred on my noble ancestors by the … Read more
Villanelle: A Step or Two
Autumn falls and storm clouds brew The post each day brings season’s chill The queue moves on a step or two The last demand is overdue It stands unopened on the sill As autumn falls and storm clouds brew They … Read more
The Queue
A fortnight back, complaining about having to wait behind two others to use the cashpoint Now, happy to stand all day and night to file past a box with a crown and a cushion on top and inside, the body … Read more
To Show Due Respect …
Companies have suspended polluting the air Governments have suspended cutting our care Energy firms have suspended price rises Landlords have suspended nasty surprises Employers have suspended exploiting our labours Lobbyists have suspended cashing in favours Bosses have suspended giving the … Read more
Clerihew: Princess Anne
Princess Anne Married a man Who served in the Forces Ah well – horses for courses
Clerihew: Henry III
Henry the Third was somewhat absurd He endorsed the Great Charter and ignored it thereafter
Haiku on Prince Philip’s Car Crash
The Duke spent the day At home recovering from Not having been hurt —– He’s not Bo or Luke But events do suggest that The Duke’s a hazard —– Breaking news just in: It seems that there were people In … Read more
Reflection: Three Kings
The established religion is this: Royals bring gifts to baby born in poverty Now those born in poverty bring gifts to baby Royals This is the established religion
Transnational Anthem
God save one’s gracious tax Long live one’s noble sacks God save one’s tax Send it on holiday Make sure the proles all pay I own the islands anyway God save one’s tax One has to be much shrewder Deposit … Read more
Royals In Need
The Palace ceiling’s showing cracks The servants’ quarters may collapse They can’t afford the Bedroom Tax Please help our Royals In Need On screen a choked-up millionaire Is holding tight to Pudsey Bear Defy their pleadings if you dare Dig … Read more
Queen Vic (Let’s Do It)
Today is Queen Elizabeth’s 90th birthday, and the media is awash with fawning coverage. Yesterday, queen of entertainment Victoria Wood died. This is a respectful reworking of Victoria Wood’s classic Ballad of Freda and Barry (Let’s Do It). Freda and … Read more
Clean for the Queen? Don’t Be Obscene!
I’d puke for the Duke And I’d hurl for an Earl But I’m really not keen On a clean for the Queen I’d kill for the thrill Of a gunfight with Phil (Or with Harry or Will) I’d chuck for … Read more
Haiku: Unelected
In just two countries Clerics sit in government Iran and Britain
The King Is Dead
A poem on the occasion of the death of King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. Royal flag at half-mast flies Forgotten victim sadly sighs Only another despot cries When a bloody tyrant dies The great and good will eulogise Sing loud … Read more
Women in the Irish nationalist movement 1900-1916
Written back in around 1993: Constance Markievicz and the other women who fought in the Easter Rising struggled to be accepted on equal terms by the Irish labour movement and among nationalists. Their experience holds many lessons for today’s socialists … Read more
Constance Markievicz: a life
These are biographical notes on the ‘Red Countess’, Constance Markievicz, prepared for the London Socialist Feminist Discussion Group on 10 October 2008. Also attached are two one-page files giving a timeline of her life. Constance Georgine Gore-Booth was born on … Read more
The Queen’s Horse
The Queen’s horse, Estimate, was stripped of its second place in the 2014 Gold Cup after testing positive for morphine … The Queen’s horse is on drugs! Who’d have thought? Bastions of privilege Now cheats at sport Broken Britain reaches … Read more