with apologies to The Undertones
A middle-age dream's so hard to beat
Every time I'm offered a seat
A cinnamon whirl in the neighbourhood
With a glass of wine, it tastes so good
I'm getting older, getting older, right
Get middle-age kicks then an early night
I call the doctor on the telephone
I ache all over, I've got creaking bones
I get excited about a panty pad
Coz when I sneeze, it leaks so bad
I'm getting older, getting older, right
Get middle-age kicks then an early night
A dirty rug's so hard to beat
It must be time to take the weight off my feet
I met a girl in the neighbourhood
She called me "Miss" and it felt so good
I'm getting older, getting older, right
Get middle-age kicks then an early night
Another caller on my mobile phone
To sell me insurance or a funeral loan
I feel excited but then I get mad -
The interest rates are really bad
I'm getting older, getting older, right
Get middle-age kicks then an early night
Alright.