The Palace ceiling’s showing cracks
The servants’ quarters may collapse
They can’t afford the Bedroom Tax
Please help our Royals In Need
On screen a choked-up millionaire
Is holding tight to Pudsey Bear
Defy their pleadings if you dare
Dig deep for Royals In Need
But will you hear their desperate cries?
Their trembling lips and tear-filled eyes?
It’s your fault if the corgi dies!
Pay up for Royals In Need
So help our starving kings and queens
Lie naked in a bath of beans
And show the world what “British” means
Gawd bless our Royals In Need