Somebody’s Mum

The sixteenth of May
That was the day
When my name changed (cue: roll of the drum)
My name which had been
Previously Janine
Now became Somebody’s Mum

Somebody’s Mum!
Put this gel on his gum
It’ll help ease his pain when he’s teething
Somebody’s Mum!​
Aw, he’s sucking his thumb
And he twitches his nose when he’s breathing

On the twentieth of May
I put it away
In the drawer with the normal-sized bras
But the very next day
I heard my name say
“Let me out or I’ll start seeing stars”

So then pretty soon
On the nineteenth of June
I knew there was just one thing for it
I’d have to accept
That my name must be kept
In a safe place till I could restore it

I’m not quite sure why
But the twelfth of July
Was the day that I finally conceded
Now I’m Somebody’s Mum
My old name is done
I accept that it’s no longer needed

On August the tenth
It took all my strength
To put it away and forget it
I used gaffa tape
Cos my name would escape
And run back to me if I let it

September the first
I thought it would burst
Out of its drawer and come find me
But somebody rung
Up for Somebody’s Mum
And that did its job to remind me

Somebody’s Mum!
It’s about your young son
Please call me back some time today
Somebody’s Mum!
Can Somebody come
Round to our house this morning to play?

Being Somebody’s Mum
Is fantastic fun
And I love little Someone forever
But all of the same
I do have a name
And I don’t want it gone altogether

So I’ll see it again
In five years or ten
The loss of my name is uncanny
If my nerve doesn’t crack
I will get my name back
Just in time to be Somebody’s Granny


This poem featured in LOUD WOMEN eZine #3



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