Opposing imaginary ribaldry
Detestable protests at a library
Serious, stern of jaw and dour
Objecting to Drag Queen Story Hour
Reckoning kids are groomed and primed –
But why don’t they protest at pantomimes?

Alarmed at the harmless, dressed-up take-up
of tales from a bloke in a wig and make-up
Rocking a frock, reading stories to kids
Dudes in lipstick make them flip their lids
But while they denounce these fictitious crimes –
They never protest at pantomimes

The guardians of the British way of life
forget Widow Twankey, the tailor’s wife
Patriotic Alternative … to kids’ education,
to progress, diversity and toleration
Bitterness, anger and venom chimes –
But they never protest at pantomimes

Theatrical tradition that’s camped through the ages
Boys playing women on Shakespearean stages
Variety turns and parlour games
Burlesque shows and corsetted damesThe targets of far-right paradigms?
But where are the protests at pantomimes?

They’re behind you! They’re behind the times –
They’ll never protest at pantomimes


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