Festive Funnies

Written for Prince George, then still a foetus, in 2012 - to the tune of Away In A Manger:

It won’t need a manger,
a crib or a bed
For the new royal baby
to lay down its crowned head

The stars and the tyrants
will come and give praise
The little future monarch
whose patronage pays

To the tune of 'Once In Royal David's City', written in 2012:

Once in Rupert Murdoch's empire
Lived his sidekick Rebekah Brooks
Rose to power through gutter reporting
Hacking phones and bribing crooks
David Cameron was her chum
Jeremy Hunt was under her thumb

Shortly before Christmas 2012, the Church of Engalnd voted not to allow women to become bishops. The decision to allow women bishops - with some qualification - was taken around two years later.
To the tune of While Shepherd's Watched Their Flocks ...

While bishops washed their frocks by night
All seated on the ground
An edict from the Synod came down
"It's still just men allowed"

A variation on a festive favourite - to the tune of We Three Kings Of Orient Are:

We three kings of austerity be
IDS, Gideon and David C
Finding ways
To make you pay
For capitalism's misanthropy

Oh-oh
Cuts by daytime, cuts by night
Cuts that hurt and cuts that bite
It's so thrilling
To save each shilling
It truly is a lovely sight

More of a Christmas carol than a poem, dedicated to our later, unlamented Education Secretary, and set to the tune of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town:

You'd better not hope, dream or aspire
Stay in your place, you won't get any higher
Michael Gove is coming to town

You'd better brush up on traditional skills
Caning and Latin and military drills
Michael Gove is coming to town

To the tune of Good King Wenceslas:

Boris Johnson once looked out
Across the River Tha-ames
In one direction poverty
The other gold and ge-ems
People slept on streets that night
Though the frost was cru-el
And pensioners in freezing flats
Who can't afford the fu-u-el