Marxist. Trade Unionist. Socialist-feminist. Author. Poet. Speaker. Tutor. RMT ex-Exec. Workers' Liberty. Autie. Bi. PUFC fan.
Five-line poems, usually funny or light-hearted; the first, second and fifth lines rhyme with each other; the third and fourth lines also rhyme with each other, and are shorter.
It's the end of the end of austerity
Can you believe the temerity?
Sajid has said
That his promise is dead
But the few will retain their prosperity
"Austerity no more" is no more
The previous promise ignored
The election is done
And the Tories have won
And the rule of the market is law
Move to the ground in the centre, you said
Nobody likes a dissenter, you said
Victory hinges
On leaving the fringes
Let us move to the centre, you said
Come down from the high ground, you claimed that we must
Move from town to the plains, this is shit or it's bust
You would find the location
With triangulation
Just there, where the ground's laid with dust
That tear-stained bit of David Cameron's Conservative Party conference speech ...
"How very dare you suggest
I don't care for the great NHS?
I love it so dearly
I'd sell it for nearly
As much as my granny - or less"
The Health Secretary’s named Jeremy Hunt
He sits on the benches at front
It would, inter alia,
Insult female genitalia
To call him a vile Tory cunt
The Foreign Secretary’s called William Hague
His purpose in life is quite vague
We sent him to Iraq
But they sent him straight back
Saying they’d rather have a dose of the plague
In 2012, the awarding of the franchise for the West Coast railway route descended into chaos, when the government gave the job to FirstGroup in preference to Virgin, then admitted irregularities and started all over again. Two limericks:
1.
A right filthy job is Tube cleaning
We slave while the bosses are preening
We work night and day
No pension or sick pay
And the wages are truly demeaning
But cleaners won’t let them attack us
Harass us, track us and sack us
On protest and picket
We’ll tell them where to stick it
And expect all our workmates to back us
There once was a princess called Kate
Who noticed her period was late
Each time she vomited
The media commented
And worshipped the future head of state
Two limericks for Gideon George Osborne's 2012 Budget:
1.
We can be sure that in Gideon's budget
However the media judge it
There'll be gifts for the rich
For the rest, not a stitch
And Labour's poor leaders will fudge it
2.