Slaughterer in the Water


Action seen in Bristol Is truly unforgettable Poor old Slaver Colston No longer on his pedestal Colston was a slaver, A taker not a giver Protesters did a favour Now Colston’s in the river We can’t go to the boozer … Read more

The SubStandard Love Song


Tom Newton Dunn, oh Tom Newton Dunn In charge of political views at The Sun Trying to say it’s all spiffing great fun When you lost an election you thought you had won #sundaypolitics [With apologies to John Betjeman’s The … Read more

Watch What You Eat!


Brown toast causes cancer Quinoa shrinks your dick Ketchup makes you retch And Tories make you sick.

Flexible Friend


Her weight is great her line is fine Her heart is smart her spine’s aligned My friend can bend – we’re not sure when She planned to stand back up again    

We Apologise for the Disruption


Tweets of distress from Peterborough The text all drenched in fears Signal failure – help us please – Bring crosswords, cake and beers We’ve been stuck here for two whole hours. Now wipe away your tears And count yourself lucky, … Read more

Goliath vs David


Those migrant children shall not pass Let’s cause a huge furore That David Davies is an arse Even for a Tory

Pea Souper


Yes, I’ll go out If you insist – I went out in the fog And missed

Gove Alone


Michael Gove’s most wicked crime As far as most of us can tell Was not to leave his kid behind But leaving ours behind as well

Stanley Spencer R.I.P.?


When Stanley Spencer died, was no-one worried No matter how far deep that he was buried He’d find a way to climb up through the soil And resurrect him to this mortal coil?

Love’s Labour’s Lost

You sob for love lost from the labouring class With a heart that’s so heavy, so bitter your tears But the love was not lost in the ten months just past But was lost in the previous twenty-odd years

Contemplating Tory-Hating

When I was young and full of rage I hated Tories to my core. But now I’ve reached a gentler age I hate the fuckers even more.

Family Values


Son’s dressing up, he looks pretty in pink Dad’s in the kitchen, his arms in the sink Daughter’s out fixing the car with her tools Mum’s on the picket line, breaking the rules​

Cup Final Conundrum


On the occasion of the 2016 FA Cup final between Manchester United and Crystal Palace:​ Who to cheer today at Wembley’s meeting? One club sent us down with flukes and cheating The other’s filthy rich and so elitist My position? … Read more

How Low Can They Bow?


Respect for war dead is not proved By the depth of bow you’re showing But by the mountains you have moved To stop their numbers growing. ​This poem was included in the anthology Poems for Jeremy Corbyn (Shoestring Press, 2016) … Read more