Scan Results: A Second Lump :-(


I had something of a setback today, as the MRI scan results showed a second lump. ​It’s in the same breast, and is pretty small – 4.5mm compared to the 27mm of the ‘main’ lump. It may not even make … Read more

Maps of my Baps


Today was the day (Booby Tuesday) to have an MRI scan. That’s Magnetic Resonance Imaging, and it produced a much more detailed image of my tumour and breast than the scans (mammogram and ultrasound) I have had so far. It … Read more

Joke of the Day

At last I have something in common with Angelina Jolie. We’re both having trouble with our Brad Pitts.

Breast Cancer Top Ten


Cup A – Radiotherapyhead You’re the Breast Thing – The Style Council ​Inspect Yourself – The Staple Fingers ​Mammogram Mia – ABBA Ultrasound of the Suburbs – The Members ​Boops of Fury – Chemo-cal Brothers Simply the Breast – Tina … Read more

Joke of the Day

They said they’d have to remove part of my breast, but I reckon they’re just making a molehill out of a mountain.

Telling People


When the nurse had given me the lump lowdown, she asked me if I had any questions. I didn’t want to ask about medical stuff – they had already told me loads and the rest was in the book or … Read more

Joke of the Day

When I checked in at the breast clinic, they told me to sit in the waiting room with the udders.

Diagnosis Day


Being me, I fucked up even attending the appointment. Got the time wrong (thought it was at 10:40; it was 10:20) then spent ten minutes in a queue I didn’t expect to be there. ​We’ll see if we can squeeze … Read more

Tumour Humour: Titter Ye Not


They’re big and they’re flopsy They had a biopsy Wore a gown like a nightie My clothes in the lockers Some people like me But I do have my knockers Tubes in my boobs Making maps of my baps Taking … Read more

Bad News and Rules


Dear Friends. Today I got the news that I’ve been expecting/dreading since I noticed a couple of weeks ago that my right breast had changed shape. I have breast cancer. I have a 2.5cm lump, and the good news is … Read more